5 Benefits of Getting Older

Looking at an old photo makes you sad? The slight wrinkles burying the youthful skin wasn’t a friend then. The glint in those dark eyes isn’t a friend now. Time does that to us. But getting old isn’t that bad. It comes down with its own happiness package.

Starting from middle age this package starts becoming lucrative with each passing year. I have listed down just a few of the endless benefits that comes down with getting older.

1)            Expectations are tamed down

I think as we age we make peace with reality. Youth is loaded with energy, dreams, ambitions. But a crushing weight of unrealistic expectations stresses it out. Expectations, from everyone and everything. And as the famous saying goes “expectations reduce joy”. It really does. And as the expectations are crushed brutally under realism we are forced to shed the layers of expectation with passing time. Though some expectations still hold us tight but they are much more realistic. 

2)            Realizing what really matters

I wanted a lot of things from life. The most important was to secure 100% in every relationship. I wanted everyone to be happy with me. And that made me most unhappy. The point is not that it was impossible, the point is that it wasn’t important. As time passed, I realized what really matters in life. And it is a huge relief.

3)            Getting comfortable in our own skin

I believe change is toughest to accept at the onset, and as the journey progress it becomes acceptable. I have never seen my mother fretting over getting old. She has other issues to deal with, like dreams of her children, her grandchildren’s health and other things, but the wrinkles on her face or the age spots no more bothers her. I am yet to meet an elderly person who is worried about being fat, short, dark or lacking a grand personality. Isn’t it great? Free from the burden of looking great all the time. Well this is something that comes late in life. I have yet to travel long to reach there.

4)            Little issues don’t bother anymore

Sometimes when I look back I am surprised at the things that fretted me out. They were numerous. I used to frown at things I now just laugh at because life threw bigger challenges. But then I realized time breaks us and then it only mends us. This too shall pass – this is the first thought to pass my mind when I am upset.

5)            Finally, some me-time

Everyone is talking about having me time. How does one get it with little toddler demanding all your time and energy? But by the time we reach middle age kids have passed the toddler stage. Though the responsibilities and tensions don’t end here but at least the nappy changing times and a kid-totally-dependent-on-me stage have passed. And finally, the me-time starts sounding real. What a relief!

These are just a few of the endless benefits of getting older. I would love to hear a few more from you. Till then cheers for every passing day making us wiser (Another Famous saying says – Age doesn’t bring wisdom always. Sometimes age comes alone.” I am in no mood to prove it true 😊)

Solace - Guest Post by Sirisha Behara

Solace…
Come to me
When expected or unexpected
Please come to me
This heart of mine needs you, might be even more than Me

I Find You…

Sometimes in the most simple words
I bet their meaning is not so simple

In a person’s pure eyes
A reflection of heart with no expectation
and words with no deception

In a Tree
Wavering with Unwavering attention to Wind
Just swaying in wholehearted agreement with its beloved

In a Hater’s Words
Yeah, In Hater’s Words
Hatred Un-hidden is always better than Hatred Coated as Love

In My Darling Dairy
Every page of which holds
a piece of my heart
a part of my breath
and a glimpse of my thought

My Solace, I find you, Yet I am afraid that I might lose you…
That I might lose you only to never ever find you again
That I might lose you forever
In those unsaid words
In that Person’s eyes that strive to hide and cease to speak
In that tree that tries to stand still, now paying no attention to wind
In that Hater’s love… That is so so Untrue
In those words I try to write… trying to deceive myself
In those words where I lie to myself trying to convince me

The moment I try to convince myself that you are still with me, when I am not really feeling you anymore…. My dear Solace…. I am afraid beyond words that I might lose you only to Never find you again Ever…

About the poet:

Sirisha Behara is working at Applied Materials India Pvt Ltd. as a Mechanical Engineer.

Line that defines her: "If you look deeper and try to listen, my words tell you a story, of u, me, us and beyond."

You can read other beautiful thoughts penned by her at : https://mywordssirisha.quora.com/

A Perfect Relationship

It was a perfect relationship. Of love? Friendship? I don’t know. I just know it was perfect.

They were inseparable. So, may be yes, it was love. May be.

When she dreamt of becoming a bird, he gave her the wings. He gave her the wand when she wanted to be a fairy. They cried together for Cinderella and laughed together at stupid jokes. Nothing was too small to be ignored, nothing too big to be serious. Tears or smiles, silly questions or stupid answers; they walked together. Always.

Oh, I just realised I didn't introduce you to the stars of the story.

She was childhood.

And he was innocence.

Perfectly entwined with each other theirs was a perfect affair. And together they could feel everything, things they didn’t even understand. It was magic. Pure magic.

But then time casted its spell and the magic began to fade.

Her tiny steps strode towards a broad world and he was left behind. He tried to follow but couldn’t keep pace, his traces getting fainter day by day. Too desperate to hold on to her he also travelled towards a new identity.

And they are still friends, but they can never match the relationship of childhood and innocence.

Hey wait, before I confuse you, let me clarify, our little child actors are now grown up and they are;

Youth

And ego

Their bonding is still strong; it is just that they sometimes fail to understand each other though they understand the outer world perfectly.

It is like a magic show; reason overrules the concept of miracle. It is more important to understand; feelings have taken a back seat. Oh, the difference between magic show and pure magic :(

Sometimes she still wants to chase the butterflies, but he won’t let her, he wants to walk back in time, but she stops him. And when they embrace each other, they do it just too tight and suffocate each other.

Yes, bestowed with beauty, strength and energy youth has a lot to boast of but her true friend was left behind somewhere in the labyrinth of time. And with its endless affair with pride, sometimes it is at a lonely place.

The pure magic sometimes still sparkles when it rains, and she walks our bare feet. Rainbow is a pure magic. But then mind starts to reason, and the rainbow is a no more a magic, it is reflection, refraction and dispersion of light. And she can’t be stupid to dance in rain, she has more important things to do. The magic dries with the rain and what is left behind is the void of a perfect but broken affair.

Marketing Gimmicks

Today we are living a marketing world. I can’t travel a single km without watching tons of hoardings.

Rickshaw, buses and taxis are loaded with advertisements. Newspaper ads, radio ads, internet ads, ads ads and ads. But television still ranks number one.

I still remember the days when there were no ads in-between serials and the ads occupied only the in-between slots (yeah I belong to that age group ;)). Then ads started in-between the serials. And then one day as I was watching TV a flying image thundered out of nowhere and settled in the topmost corner of the scene. GOD, I was horrified for a moment and when I closely observed it was an ad of other serial. Slowly it became a trend and now the protagonist have started to endorse the products as a part of the serial itself (CHINGS CHINESE for example) No doubt we are living in a world of marketing.

And those silly free toys with wafers and what not … I have to change the channel the very minute the ad starts else a discussion starts and after hours of negotiation, debates, lectures and what not I give up. He is better than me when it comes to negotiation. I am talking about my 5-year-old. His strategy is simple, keep asking until the other person is exhausted. Man, it can go on for hours. And then by evening he is all smiles with the unhealthy stuff I hate, in his hand. And the stupid toy…oh, needless to say, is in dustbin within hours. I wonder what is in those toys that all the existing super toys at home take a backseat.

Showcasing vitamins and minerals is the new mantra of many unhealthy products. With a spoonful of veggies, some products claim to give loads of vitamins. Buyers are not such fools. Some ads unnecessarily add “India ka” totally out of context and oh those doctors in every ad, it sounds stupid. God, they don’t fit everywhere. Somebody just go and tell them. And those deodorant ads; all with 2 main features – stupidity and skimpy girls – don’t register to me.

And a large percentage of ads thrive on the concept of competition. Use their product and whoa you will be at the top. Really? Is it that simple. And is it that mandatory to win every time?

As much as I hate ads but I admit there are some ads I love.

Some ads are so beautifully done that I don’t tire watching them. Be it of stupid couple fights or the mothers convincing their little ones to drink milk. So much like real life na.

One such ad is the ad of CHOCOS, featuring Juhi Chawla. I love it when she says “harna jeetna, it’s all part of the game.” Now that’s the spirit. Too much pressure to win just leads to unhealthy competition and the spirit of the game is lost somewhere. Have you ever played without the fear of losing?

Sometimes I play just for the spirit of playing, without the fear of failure or the pressure of winning. Those are the games I enjoy the most. And blogging is one such thing for me.

Well, enough of my ramblings! By the way, what’s your favourite ad? Let me know in the comments box. I am all ears.

अधूरी नज़्म

Also published in AajSirhaane

अपनी पुरानी डायरी के पन्नो को पलटते हुए

बीते हुए पलों से मिलना चाहती थी

एक नज़्म दिखी उसमे अधूरी सी

उस अधूरी नज़्म को मैं पूरा करना चाहती थी

एक चौथाई पन्ने पर सिमटी

कुछ जख्मी से एहसासों में लिपटी

शायद मुझे कुछ याद दिलाना चाहती थी

उस अधूरी नज़्म को मैं पूरा करना चाहती थी

मेरे अपने ही वो ज़ज़्बात जैसे गैर हो चुके थे 

शब्दों की तरह अब कुछ धुंधले हो चुके थे

धुंधले से उन शब्दों को -जज्बातों को जाने क्यों पढ़ना चाहती थी

उस अधूरी नज़्म को मैं पूरा करना चाहती थी

कुछ शब्द नए जोड़े पर वो उसमे घुल न पाए

किसी पुरानी जीन्स में रफू की तरह अलग से उभर आये

अपने कल से अपने आज को जाने क्यों जोड़ना चाहती थी

उस अधूरी नज़्म को मैं पूरा करना चाहती थी

एक रोज मेरे ही दिल से निकली थी

लेकिन आज मुझसे ही कुछ अजनबी सी थी

कुछ कह कर भी कुछ छुपाना चाहती थी

शायद... हाँ शायद...

वो नज़्म अधूरी ही रहना चाहती थी

दर्पण

जब भी किसी दोस्त की कमी महसूस करती हूँ
मैं दर्पण से बातें करती हूँ
 

मन कहता है ये मैं नहीं, कोई और है

मेरा हमराज़ मेरा हमदर्द है
वो मुझे समझाता है की मेरे ये आंसू
मेरी ही किसी मुस्कान का क़र्ज़ है
जाने किन् ख्यालों में हूँ
खुद ही हंसाती हूँ खुद ही हंसती हूँ
मैं दर्पण से बातें करती हूँ
 
बस यूँ महसूस होने ही लगा था
की अब किसी और दोस्त की ज़रूरत नहीं
भरम से जाग उठा ये मन तभी, बोला  
इस परछाई की कोई शक्शियत नहीं
मेरा दोस्त एक परछाई है
इस हक़ीक़त से डरती हूँ
मैं दर्पण से बातें करती हूँ
 
एक हवा का झोंका आया, मेरा दोस्त कहीं खो गया
रह गयी तो सिर्फ एक परछाई
इतना बाँट के भी कुछ बंट न सका
और गहरी हो गई मेरी तन्हाई
अपने अस्तित्व को फैला कर
फिर खुद ही सिमट जाती हूँ
मैं दर्पण से बातें करती हूँ

Hope

Photo Credit - Asha Dimri

Hope is a good thing

It keeps me waiting for the love to return

Not a person but a feeling

Deep, tough, true

Unafraid of the pain it brings

But fearful of its absence

Of the void it leaves

When it's all gone

Love, faith, dreams

And the endless stories

Incomplete or with sad endings

Hope is a bad thing

It keeps me waiting

For what doesn't exist

A mirage?

A truth wrapped in a lie?

Or memories to turn real?

I don’t know what exactly

But it keeps me waiting

For the unreal

And I am happy

Or sad? I don't know

Hope is a strange thing

It keeps me alive between dead moments

The moments that belonged to me

Yet were strangers

It mends the broken dreams

Fills in the cracks of reality

And makes it new

As if it was never broken

Dreams and heart are anew

Sometimes for a moment

And sometimes a little longer