LIFE AND IT’S STRANGE WAYS

This is the story of a dear friend. I met her in my college days. Sorry, I can’t reveal her name for obvious reasons.

A boy proposed her when she was in school, in eighth grade. She refused, as they were just kids, moreover love marriages were a taboo in her orthodox family. But the boy was persistent. He did all the filmy things to win her, even gave her love letter written with blood. Yeah, that’s crazy, I know. It became impossible for a sweet little innocent girl to not fall for a smart, intelligent boy who wouldn’t stop trying. So, one day, still confused, she accepted his proposal. Well, accepted is not even the right word. She half accepted it.

She said they were too young and must wait till they reach a marriageable age. Then they can discuss it with their respective families, but till then they will be just friends. Sort of #halfgirlfriend thing. Though, at that time, there existed no such word. Time passed and their bonding grew, but being a part of an orthodox family the girl could somehow never convince herself for love marriage. In those times using a word like boyfriend in front of parents was no less dropping a grenade on them. After about 8 years of their friendship, she wrote a letter that was so long it could compete with a novella. She wrote it over days, capturing her tangled emotions in pages over pages, asking for a break up. Long back a love letter written with blood united them and years later a letter burdened under the weight of a responsible daughter departed them. He broke up. Though she had asked for it, but still him accepting the break up broke her and she used to cry for hours. I still remember once we were travelling in bus and the song played in the background “dil deta hai ro ro duhai kisi se koi pyaar na kare” (heart is in pain and pleads not to fall in love). she cried for hours listening to that song. Till date, whenever I hear that song her face clouds my memory.

Soon she shifted to another city because of her father’s job transfer. We couldn’t talk much after that since there were no mobiles and internet wasn’t easily available. After a few years, she invited me to her marriage. I couldn’t gather the courage to ask if she was happy or if she still missed her old friend. I congratulated her and wondered if her old friend knew this or not? And if yes, how he must feel? I think a lot, even about people I have never met. May be that’s the reason I get the answers, sometimes even years later.

Years passed, and I joined a firm where I met a man whose name was same as that of the boy I am talking about. Thoughts of my friend cluttered my mind as I was being introduced to him. As soon as I was back to my cabin I checked his file. (A benefit of being in HR Dept. You can access all employee files.)

I checked his resume.

Same surname

Same school
Same year of passing
Married

And the file fell from my hand. It was odd, because my friend was married and it was wrong to expect he was still unmarried. A thousand thoughts cluttered my mind and the most prominent one was does he still remember her? Well, again the answer awaited me.

Our office was on outskirts of the city and one day I missed my office bus, so the same colleague offered me lift. I had no choice but to take the offer of the gentleman. When he started talking I was surprised for I never knew he was so talkative. He talked about his wife and kids.

And then…

He spoke about school. He said “I had such wonderful friends in school. One was so special”

And there was a sudden pause as he was lost in some other world. I got my answer.

Life has its strange ways. They both are at happy places, faithful to their respective partners, somewhere still preserving the precious moments lost in time. I was a witness to a beautiful story that unfolded bit by bit and I got all my answers. Answers that told me separation is not always a sad ending. Love is not only about marriage. It is about a bond that connects two people beyond time and place.

I was inspired to write this post after watching trailer of the upcoming Hindi romantic film Half Girlfriend. It is based on the novel of the bestselling author “Chetan Bhagat” and has a fabulous star cast of Arjun Kapoor and Shraddha Kapoor.

The trailer successfully captures the confused mind of today’s youth. Friend or girlfriend? Sometimes people are unsure what they want. Their priorities waver between society and love, ambitions and relationships. And a havoc is created when one is sure and the other is not, what exactly happens here. Our smart but non-English speaking Madhav falls in love with the sexy and suave Riya, who is unsure of her relationship with Madhav. And hence starts the roller coaster of emotional ride that pulls you to the extremes of joy and then drags you to the depths of pain. The passion in the eyes of the hero is what I liked the most. The surety, the commitment, dipped in a wave of pain – it always attracts me and so it did this time. The movie looks promising and I will join their roller coaster ride as soon as it hits the theatre on 19th May. What about you?

“I am sharing a Half relationship story at BlogAdda in association with #HalfGirlfriend”

A Perfect Relationship

It was a perfect relationship. Of love? Friendship? I don’t know. I just know it was perfect.

They were inseparable. So, may be yes, it was love. May be.

When she dreamt of becoming a bird, he gave her the wings. He gave her the wand when she wanted to be a fairy. They cried together for Cinderella and laughed together at stupid jokes. Nothing was too small to be ignored, nothing too big to be serious. Tears or smiles, silly questions or stupid answers; they walked together. Always.

Oh, I just realised I didn't introduce you to the stars of the story.

She was childhood.

And he was innocence.

Perfectly entwined with each other theirs was a perfect affair. And together they could feel everything, things they didn’t even understand. It was magic. Pure magic.

But then time casted its spell and the magic began to fade.

Her tiny steps strode towards a broad world and he was left behind. He tried to follow but couldn’t keep pace, his traces getting fainter day by day. Too desperate to hold on to her he also travelled towards a new identity.

And they are still friends, but they can never match the relationship of childhood and innocence.

Hey wait, before I confuse you, let me clarify, our little child actors are now grown up and they are;

Youth

And ego

Their bonding is still strong; it is just that they sometimes fail to understand each other though they understand the outer world perfectly.

It is like a magic show; reason overrules the concept of miracle. It is more important to understand; feelings have taken a back seat. Oh, the difference between magic show and pure magic :(

Sometimes she still wants to chase the butterflies, but he won’t let her, he wants to walk back in time, but she stops him. And when they embrace each other, they do it just too tight and suffocate each other.

Yes, bestowed with beauty, strength and energy youth has a lot to boast of but her true friend was left behind somewhere in the labyrinth of time. And with its endless affair with pride, sometimes it is at a lonely place.

The pure magic sometimes still sparkles when it rains, and she walks our bare feet. Rainbow is a pure magic. But then mind starts to reason, and the rainbow is a no more a magic, it is reflection, refraction and dispersion of light. And she can’t be stupid to dance in rain, she has more important things to do. The magic dries with the rain and what is left behind is the void of a perfect but broken affair.

अधूरी नज़्म

Also published in AajSirhaane

अपनी पुरानी डायरी के पन्नो को पलटते हुए

बीते हुए पलों से मिलना चाहती थी

एक नज़्म दिखी उसमे अधूरी सी

उस अधूरी नज़्म को मैं पूरा करना चाहती थी

एक चौथाई पन्ने पर सिमटी

कुछ जख्मी से एहसासों में लिपटी

शायद मुझे कुछ याद दिलाना चाहती थी

उस अधूरी नज़्म को मैं पूरा करना चाहती थी

मेरे अपने ही वो ज़ज़्बात जैसे गैर हो चुके थे 

शब्दों की तरह अब कुछ धुंधले हो चुके थे

धुंधले से उन शब्दों को -जज्बातों को जाने क्यों पढ़ना चाहती थी

उस अधूरी नज़्म को मैं पूरा करना चाहती थी

कुछ शब्द नए जोड़े पर वो उसमे घुल न पाए

किसी पुरानी जीन्स में रफू की तरह अलग से उभर आये

अपने कल से अपने आज को जाने क्यों जोड़ना चाहती थी

उस अधूरी नज़्म को मैं पूरा करना चाहती थी

एक रोज मेरे ही दिल से निकली थी

लेकिन आज मुझसे ही कुछ अजनबी सी थी

कुछ कह कर भी कुछ छुपाना चाहती थी

शायद... हाँ शायद...

वो नज़्म अधूरी ही रहना चाहती थी

Moments

Isn't Life All About Choices

Isn't life all about choices.

Choice between passion and career

                              Duties and responsibilities
                              Emotions and realism
                              Heart and brain

Sadly, the list is endless.

And as we select one of the two, do we really leave the other? Or we leave a part of us with the one we abandon or rather pretend to abandon.

Lost in these thoughts, I saw my 5-year-old submerging a painting in water. Hesitantly, slowly, the colors dissolved in water, leaving its soul - the painting.

And I wondered aren’t we all like that faded painting, losing our colors bit by bit, every time we leave the water – oh, I mean one precious thing for other in life.

Time is a Businessman

The tiny drops dancing on my balcony and my childhood photo album in my hand, it pulled me to a faraway world and I meekly surrendered. I met a stranger there. It was me.

And looking at her I thought about time, which bit by bit, stole her.

Time is a perfect businessman, at every turn, it give us something, but not without taking away a bit from us.

He traded

My innocence for maturity

My vulnerability for strength

My careless laughs for thoughtful smiles

My crazy dreams for real ambitions

And as time passed, I became a little more rational, a little more practical, a little more mature.

But... a little less me.

And a time came I couldn’t cry as I used to, laugh as I used to and sometimes even love as I used to.

The layers of different seasons that covered us are too hard, too deep to dig into to find the real us. And sometimes in a moment of solitude when we are just about to reach ourselves, we are pulled back by work, kids or the practical world around us and we are just consumed by another demand of life.

And the stranger slowly drifts back into the mist of time.