Time is a Businessman

The tiny drops dancing on my balcony and my childhood photo album in my hand, it pulled me to a faraway world and I meekly surrendered. I met a stranger there. It was me.

And looking at her I thought about time, which bit by bit, stole her.

Time is a perfect businessman, at every turn, it give us something, but not without taking away a bit from us.

He traded

My innocence for maturity

My vulnerability for strength

My careless laughs for thoughtful smiles

My crazy dreams for real ambitions

And as time passed, I became a little more rational, a little more practical, a little more mature.

But... a little less me.

And a time came I couldn’t cry as I used to, laugh as I used to and sometimes even love as I used to.

The layers of different seasons that covered us are too hard, too deep to dig into to find the real us. And sometimes in a moment of solitude when we are just about to reach ourselves, we are pulled back by work, kids or the practical world around us and we are just consumed by another demand of life.

And the stranger slowly drifts back into the mist of time.

Memories

Photo Credit - Asha Dimri

So true are the words said above, the world of memories is a puzzle. So far, yet so near...so real yet so surreal. It often plays hide and seek with our busy routines. Mostly present take over those memories but there are moments when those memories bounce back so profoundly that we forget every priority and surrender meekly to them. At times it feels like a shadow, it follows us where ever we go, a part of us that in an instant lives within us and in other leaves us.

A faint memory of my school days that still brings a smile to my face is of my school friend, Sheela. I was in 3rd or 4th standard, I don’t remember exactly. I forgot to keep my compass box that day. When I asked her if she has an extra pencil she smilingly handed me her pencil. After some time when I turned back, I saw she was just sitting. When asked, why she was not taking down the notes, she innocently replied “I had only one pencil’. That incident introduced me to a whole new relationship with her. It was innocence of childhood that she didn’t bother to miss her notes, that made me wait for her in the middle of running competition, that made our relation precious than our ambitions.  Her father was transferred in a short while. I was too small to realise that once lost I won’t be able to regain her contact. The only thing I realized at that time was the pain of departing. As much as I missed her I couldn’t regain her contact. Thanks to facebook it has reunited me with many lost friends but not Sheela, I don’t ever remember her last name, I spent hours searching for her just to feel disappointed and accept that she is no more a part of my life. And I am left only with faded memories of her innocent face and her two little knots tied in red ribbons - and of course our indefinable bonding.

Other faint memory I would like to share is of our little puppy; it was a street dog that I and my friend Dipali fed every day. We created a small house for him. Making him sleep in a blanket became a routine. Waking up early in the morning and rushing outside to see if he was safe became our biggest excitement, which we eventually lost when we lost him in a road accident. Days passed before I stopped crying, months passed before life became normal, years passed before I could forget his appearance but no time could steal his sweet memories from me.

These are just snapshots from the album of my memories - some sweet, some sour, of people who are still a part of my life, of people whom destiny took apart. I envy time, it has all those hidden moments captured in its existence; well, although it can take away the moments from me but memories are mine. It’s my little world wherein I can live everything I desired, I treasured, I lost. Shattered dreams, moments of joy, tears, laughter everything comes alive in a moment – it’s a world that I can visit but not stay. After all, memories are like tides and shores are like present; the tide comes and touches its shores, and moves back leaving it wet.